tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
