I want to make a zoo with you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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