I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
