dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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