I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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