I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize