they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
