he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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