Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
