whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
