Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize