I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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