Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
