Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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