College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
