i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
