you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
