Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
