I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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