Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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