So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
