He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
