She is in my trunk
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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