just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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