I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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