we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
