you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
