last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
