While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize