Fuck appropriateness.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize