Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
