We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
