My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
