i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
