Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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