some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
