Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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