Where is the hickey?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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