when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm having to shit out rocks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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