I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
