It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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