Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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