I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Randomize
