I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
porn star boner night. come get it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
