I cockslap morals
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
