is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
