What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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