Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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