Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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