i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
