I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize