It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
