This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
