and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
