it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
