I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize