so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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