So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
