I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
