Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
