I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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