i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
