i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
