Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
