You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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