Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
