we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize